Chapter 1 - Love, Romance and Reality

What is love?

The challenge is that romantic love doesn't last long.
(Maybe that's why Shakespeare has Romeo and Juliet
die before everyday reality sets in.) For every song or
movie that praises passionate love, there is another
talking about losing it: 'You've lost that loving feeling';
'You don't bring me flowers any more' (notice that both
those songs blame the other person!).

When the initial passion fades, you have at least three
choices. One: you can swear you'll never fall in love again
and run away to join the Armed Forces. Two: you can try
to find someone else who will make you feel that way again,
but this is not easy and probably won't last either. Three:
is to welcome the arrival of reality into the relationship, and
see it as a challenge to personal growth. When you realise
that your partner is not an angelic supermodel with the
ability to know and meet your every need – and neither
are you
– then you can start to notice what good qualities
really are there, and to build on those. This can be the start
of much more realistic love.