Chapter 1 - Love, Romance and Reality

What is love?

The challenge is that romantic love doesn't last long. (Maybe that's
why Shakespeare has Romeo and Juliet die before everyday reality
sets in.) For every song or movie that praises passionate love, there
is another talking about losing it: 'You've lost that loving feeling';
'You don't bring me flowers any more' (notice that both those songs
blame the other person!).

When the initial passion fades, you have at least three choices. One:
you can swear you'll never fall in love again and run away to join the
Foreign Legion. Two: you can try to find someone else who will make
you feel that way again, but this is not easy and probably won't last
either. Three: welcome the arrival of reality into the relationship, and
see it as a challenge to personal growth. When you realise that your
partner is not an angelic supermodel with the ability to know and
meet your every need – and neither are you – then you can start to
notice what good qualities really are there, and to build on those.
This can be the start of much more realistic love.